the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
