I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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