i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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