used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My vagina is officially offended.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
