Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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