then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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