I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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