OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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