I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My life is pants optional.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
