You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So many bounce houses so little time
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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