We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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