It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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