I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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