you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
