So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
