I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
