***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just had sex bonerless
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I forget how to act sober
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