I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
