I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
