honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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