The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
