You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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