What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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