walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She bit a glass in half.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
