You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dicks are not precious.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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