Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
