and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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