Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
