M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize