There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
