the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
