He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
