Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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