well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
