I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
