so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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