He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
