does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
