i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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