He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
