It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As shirtless as possible
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
