that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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