DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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