So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
