Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
