I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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