i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
