omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
