he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Someone signed my nipple.
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