i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This baby is an asshole
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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