We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just puked most of my soul out..
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