I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
