i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
