Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
