My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So many bounce houses so little time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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