I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
