From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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