You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was like eating out sand paper
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
