yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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