he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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